This is the end.
My time is up.
This is the end.
My time is up.
These were the feelings that Flynn was used to. His father had passed away a few months ago, which broke his family apart. It was now just him, his mother, and his baby sister- Maybelle.
It was on a cold and foggy morning, when Flynn couldn’t be bothered getting out of bed. He checked his alarm clock, 7:30am. Usually his mother would have been in by now. Most of the time she would have to pull the blinds back, and pull away Flynn’s blanket for him to get up. That would happen most days, but not on that particular day. He called out to his mother, repeatedly. There was no response.
After flinging on some clothes, Flynn ran into his mother’s room. She was still lying in bed. If they weren’t to leave soon for school, he would be late! Flynn shook his mother’s shoulders, his mother looked awoken from a beautiful and peaceful dream. He asked her how she was feeling. She didn’t say anything. She just looked straight through his eyes, looking like a ghost. He begged to know what was wrong, but she wouldn’t respond to his yells.
Flynn was forced to walk to school. His mother had no motivation at all, to get up out of bed. This was highly unusual, as she would usually be cooking breakfast. That’s one of the things that he had never gotten his head around- change. Everything can change in an instant. It’s even mostly at the times when we least expect it. Change can do much more than change a world, it can change the people of that world.
Flynn looked around at his surroundings. The cafeteria had never looked so hectic. There was a small group of people having a food fight, what a complete waste. Flynn was a strong believer of saving food. When he was 7 years old, which was 8 years ago now, he went for a trip with his father to Afghanistan. He met so many kind and loving people, he didn’t want to ever leave. He saw the way that many were forced to live, cramped into small houses. The situation with the food and water was the same. A big group of people huddling around one small plate of food. This was a complete working of the devil, he had cursed these people.
When Flynn was away on that holiday with his father, his father taught him something. That was to always appreciate the things that you do have, as they could disappear at any minute. He was right, because that’s what happened to him. Flynn had been staying over at his grandma and grandfather’s house at the time. It was probably around 30 minutes away from his house. His mother had given him his own mobile phone, in case of emergencies.
It was 2 in the morning, and his mother was ringing him. He lazily answered the phone, taking a few seconds to register what was going on. His mother’s cries came down the phone, putting Flynn into panic mode. He asked her what was wrong, and she’d said ‘your father.’ He was thinking at that moment, that maybe he had just gone out to the pub and had too many beers. That wasn’t what happened at all. His mother and father had been watching the latest episode of some reality TV show. His mother said that his father had begun to make unusual noises. She rang an ambulance, but they came when it was too late. He’d had a heart attack, which was a common thing to happen in the family. There was no chance of saving him.
Flynn had read out a speech he wrote, in front of many people at the funeral. He had devoted many hours, just to make others aware of how the love he felt for his father was endless. He thought that some people would have thought that was gross, but so be it. People were supportive, and nobody ever laughed. Tears weren’t a big part of this funeral, Flynn knew his father would want it to be a celebration. The only thing he had ever wanted them to be, was happy.
Flynn’s phone buzzed. A text message from his mother. It said: Hi, love. I’ve just made a visit to the doctors, and everything isn’t alright with me after all. We’ll talk about it once you get home. Love you lots, mother. What could possibly be wrong? He was soon to find out. One last period of mathematics, and then he would be able to go home and put his feet up and relax. This wasn’t the case at all.
It took roughly 10 minutes to walk home from school. 5 tops, if he ran. Flynn noticed as he walked up the front steps of his house, that the grass was beginning to grow quite tall. Much taller than it usually was. His mother was waiting in a seat for him, with a ghostly look in her eyes. When he looked into her eyes, he saw nothing. He used to see the glow in them, how happy his mother had once been. He sat down on the chair, which had the wonky leg on it. His mother was writing down on a piece of paper, what was she doing? This is what she wrote on the first piece of paper: So I went to the doctors today…. Doctor Harold noticed that something wasn’t right with me.
Second piece of paper: He asked me to speak, but I couldn’t do it. I continued to try, but it wasn’t worth trying. He did a few tests, and diagnosed that I’m deaf. You know what that means, don’t you?
That was the last of the notes. My hands were shaking, and I couldn’t control myself. How could something like this, happen to my mother? MY mother. She had never harmed a soul, she didn’t deserve this. She continued to write more notes, explaining that I would have to learn sign language. That was okay with me, but I wish everything would go back to normal. But they can’t go back to normal, and it sucks! My mother isn’t going to be ever able to hear the sounds of the birds in the morning. The horns of cars, rustle of trees, the wind, rain, and all of the other beauties that surround us.
I wish I could do something that would cheer her up, even if it wasn’t even that great of a deal. Well, I know one thing- she is obsessed with butterflies. Maybe if I brought her to a butterfly enclosure, she would feel a little bit better. I wrote down on a piece of paper that I was going to go for a walk, mother didn’t mind. She just nodded, and I went on my way. I saw Max on my way, a man who’s OBSESSED with animals. Not just one specific type of animal, all animals. His wife passed away with cancer 3 years ago, it stopped him from living for months.
Then he came up with an idea, and that was to do something for his wife, that she would have loved. He held a fundraiser, donating all money to a cancer foundation. He brought together all types of animals that didn’t have a home, and set out on finding people to adopt them. For a small price, of course. But it was worth it all in the end, as he knew that she would have been proud of his efforts.
Flynn asked Max if he knew of any public butterfly enclosures. He knew one that was right down the road. Flynn walked down there, and requested things from the owner. He asked for on the date of next month sometime, if he would be able to borrow the place for a while. The man said that it would come at a small price, which Flynn would do anything for his mother, no matter what the price.
3 weeks later.
It was the day. The day where he would try and cheer up his mother. She had been moping around the house, not fussing about the amount of mess around the house. He woke her up with breakfast in bed. He laid out a frilly blue dress on her bed, for her to wear. She put it on, wondering what he had planned. They had arrived at the butterfly enclosure. Just the two of them. She was in wonder, the very first minute they arrived.
Although things weren’t ever going to be the same, Flynn accepted his life. His mother wouldn’t be able to hear the toast popping out of the toaster, or the nature outside, or the voices of the people surrounding her. But there was one thing that she would always have. Butterflies. And Flynn, of course. The butterflies were the possibilities, and they were endless.
Life doesn’t stop when you do,
It continues to thrive on,
No matter the circumstances.
So you should too.
Every time you smile,
The world stops and stares.
I am unstuck and confused,
What is happening to me?
I don’t know me anymore,
My words make no sense.
I want to escape this nothingness,
But you aren’t there,
And my words cannot save me,
From this hell in which I see a paradise.
Your arms around me,
Our embrace infinitive,
All I need but more.
I’m so sorry for the lack of posts for almost a month (my rough guess). I have had so many SAC’s at school, and have been unable to deal with various stresses. As exams are coming up on the 5th to the 9th of June, this may be my last post until then. I hope that after my exams have been completed that I can go back to posting at least once a week.
Thank you for all of your support (to the 20 followers I have somehow maintained).
I’m so sorry for not posting for more than 2 weeks! I have been incredibly busy lately, with various tests, SAC’s, and upcoming exams at school.
I still have to write reviews for the following books:
I’m hoping to write both of those this weekend, and am hoping to post some new poetry or other works.
Thank you for your support!
You are the beginning,
And everywhere in between,
Of my deepest sorrows.
Pick up yourself off of the floor.
The pain is temporary,
You’ll become used to it soon enough.
It’s the second time around,
And your hands continue to shake.
It’s something you can’t control,
Better get used to it soon.
At first the sight of blood frightens you,
But doesn’t stop you from continuing on.
You remember and reflect on all of the pain you have suffered,
All the people that you once loved and cared for,
Betraying you in an instant.
They told you to ‘kill yourself’,
And that you were a complete and utter failure.
For a while you believed them,
You continued to bleed internally and externally,
And thought that the pain was never going to go away.
But there was a day,
When you were thinking about everyone you had ever loved,
And whether it was all worth it in the end.
You lift the razor towards your body,
Whilst your hands continue to shake uncontrollably.
All of a sudden,
A bright light shines through the usually darkened windows,
And provides you with the hope that you had been searching for all along.
Although you suffered immensely by the words of others,
You realized that you couldn’t let them stop you from being who you wanted to be,
Because you’re unique in your own way,
And you have a purpose.
Your purpose in society isn’t to seek ‘perfection’,
It’s to seek the person who you have lost in your immense amount of pain and suffering.
It’s time to live,
Put all of those negative thoughts behind you,
And become the person who you have always hoped to be.
Hey guys! I’m so sorry that I haven’t posted too much, but I had 4 SAC’s this week (they’re like exams). I currently have 2 SAC’s next week, so I might get a chance to post throughout the week! I was wondering if any of you who actually read this, if you could post things in the comments that you want me to post about? It would be much appreciated. Thank you!
I remember the day,
You told me you were leaving,
And you left me for her.